October 7, 2022 / 2 Minute Read

the memories

I was late already.

What a guy.

Late to my own party.

I’ve been wanting to hang up the cape for years. 

My glory days had long passed.

And today…

Today was finally the day.

The beginning of the end.

I paced around the living room, anxious and nervous about what the guests might say.

I’d been through this before.

I say I’m going to leave. 

My friends throw a retirement party.

And I always, always, end up staying. 

I knew deep down that they didn’t really want me to leave.

If they did…

I would have quit a long time ago.

I took two deep breaths, sat on the couch, and closed my eyes. 

When I opened them again, my entire house was filled.

My guests had arrived.

The memories.

The pill bottles. 

The empty cans.

The lighters and ashtrays.

My favorite convenience store. 

All of them here…

Just for me.

On the surface, celebrating my decision.

Yet, under the iceberg harboring a deep sense of resentment and betrayal.

As I went around the room saying my goodbyes, they began to disperse. 

Poof Poof Poof

I had to let them go…

Or I would never leave.

One by one, I made my peace. 

Until I saw her…

My favorite. 

The girl in the green dress.

With the kinky auburn hair, and that oh so sweet aroma.

She stared at me, with her big, beautiful almond eyes. 

She was crying.

My body went numb.

This was where I always fell. 

Where I always turned back.

But today…

Today was the day!

I held my breath, clenched my fists, and stared right back at her.

Our eyes locked for hours, days, months.

I began to sweat.

My fists, becoming looser and looser. 

My heart, beating erratically.

And just as I was about to reach out and grab her…

Just as I was about to fall…

As I had done so many times before…

She vanished.

Leaving nothing but a thick cloud of smoke in her wake. 

I glanced around the room.

It was empty. 

It was silent.

I’d finally done it.

I’d retired.

I was free.